The Worst Fanfic You Will Ever Read
by XxRunningWithScissorsxX
Summary: Yes I continued it, because I, the author, believe that I have a great idea that everyone will love and enjoy! Now with even more plot holes and spelling erers! Rated T for you the safety of your sanity. -Title changed-
1. The Sue and the Plot Hole(s)

_So if you haven't ever read a fanfic like this before, you're probably not dead yet._

Once upon a time it was a sunny day in the Titans Tower. The Titans were, like, doing the things that they ALWAYS did. A cyborg and changeling were playing video games while fighting about meat and tofu. Their leader was blasting lyric-less music, like he always does. The alien bimbo was brewing some crepe-de-crap in the T-tub. The team's dark sorceress was inhaling the mold from her books.

After five paragraphs of introducing and describing the characters-we-apparently-don't-know-about, Robin says, "Star babe! I finally realizes that I LURVE U!"

So Star Fire said, " Friend Robin! I also share this 'lurve'!"

So they went to go do something indecent -BUT SUDDENLY- they were interrupted because the alarms started blaring and everything was blinking red! The two birds **(A/N: Im the author who's ttly not breaking the fourth wall!****)** ran to the computer and started typing random things. Cinderblock was smashing a bunch of stuff in the city and robbing banks...for no reason.

"OH NOES!"sed BeastBoy.

"We must hurry before he goes to break into jail!", Raven said in a monotone, despite the exclamation mark.

"TITANS, GO"The Boy Wonder said!

Cyborg stopped staring out the window at the apparent chaos in the city and did his master's bidding. The Titans arrived at the scene of the crime that was still taking place. Robin began throwing Frisbees at him and beastboy turned into a dinosaur to do something else to him. Cyborg, StarFire and Raven were blasting stuff at him...but Raven was the coolest at it. _Add another paragraph on how awesome and sexy Raven is_. **(A/N: Raven's my fave! I can lyk ttly relate to her!)**

After an hour of fighting the brainless-monster-they-already-beat-before, the teens were losing because they kept tripping into plot holes. Unable to watch any longer, a mysterious and awesome figure stepped out from the shadows of the empty street, and beat up Cinderblock in three seconds.

"We should do this again sometime," Mystery-Awesome-Girl said, showing how tough she was. The Titans stared at her in shock as their jaws dropped **(A/N: ANIME STYLE!). **They were so amazed to see that she had powers - because this was apparently something NEW to the superhero team.

"How did you do that?" Beast boy spluttered.

"Just with my telekinesis, time manipulation, badass-hand-to-hand-combat, telepathy, shape-shifting, sparkle bolts, etc, etc, etc," she said smugly.

"Who are you?" Robin assed.

"Pocah - I mean - the name's Shadow," said Shadow. "But my real name is Talia Andromeda Muchukuchukami Petunia Opal Nelson," she said dully revealing her secret identity.

"Please FRIEND: Wheredidyoucomefromhowdidyou getherewhatisyourfavoritecol oranddoyouwishtobemyFRIEND?" inquired Starfire originally.

"Japan, teleported, purple, and sure," replied the white-girl-who-probably-never-spoke-a-word-of-Japanese-in-her-life.

Suddenly she fainted.

"Let's abduct her and take her to the tower," Robin sayed.

They took Totally-Original-Shadow to the medial wing, cus you know, there are no hospitals in the city. Ten days later, Tam- I mean Talia woke up with Robin staring obsessively at her.

"WANNA BE A TITAN?" the paranoid leader assed.

"KKs!" Andromeda replied.

"YAY!" cheered the Titans who entered through another plot hole.

"Now I need to go make everyone go train for 28 hours cus I'm apparently a bitch," said the bitchy-Robin.

"OMGZ, I'LL LYK, TTLY JOIN U GUYZ," said Shadow.

They all when to that obstacle course thing that we've only seen like three times in the show, and Shadow started freaking out -_on the inside_.

"_Omfg, what if they all find out I can't control my powers and find out about my past_?" Shadow thought. Then with her awesome powers she beat everyone's best time (**A/N: Her record was -4 seconds)**.

"Talia! I finally realize that ur my soul mate! Let's go have sex!" Robin **(A/N: The hottest guy on the team)** said. Starfire looked indignant towards her ex-boyfriend whom she had just gotten together with 20 minutes ago. So then Shadow and Robin started making out on the couch (courtesy of plot-holes) while the guys rooted them on and Starfire went to go die in a corner.

"Oh Robin, I love you - but- we just can't be together" Shadow said after a graphic lemon had ensued.

"But Tals, why?"

"It's my past! DONT ASK ME ABOUT IT!"

"But what does that have to do with our shallow relationship?" Robin inquired.

"The author will think of that and tell you the next chapter," she sobbed. "Whoops, time to meditate and bond with Raven!"

"Oh, BTW, forgot to mention," Shadow continued, "I'm working for Slade - just FYI."

And then some wangst crap along with a poorly developed plot including Slade that was plagiarized from season two ensued, and everyone died.

**DA END**

_So if you haven't already died yet, you can go on and tell me the ways you'll sue me for crimes against humanity._


	2. Terra the B----

_No, I'm not done torturing the earth._

So everyone was back in the Tower. Again. Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing (insert preferred video game here). Starfire was playing with her larva-pet - cus aliens are stupid like that. Robin was obsessing over Slade - cus he does that ALOT - and was searching for him on Google. Raven was reading a book on the couch next to Beast Boy, cus they were now a couple. So that means he got sexier and more muscular and was now two feet taller than Raven. For no reason.

Then all of a sudden Terra came in.

"YOU GUYZS! I FINALLY DECIDED TO BE A TITAN AGAIN!" Terra-the-evil-b**** said.

"Hooray!" cheered all the Titans - except Raven.

"Welcome back to the team," saided Robin, who was super paranoid about everything, and welcomed back the ex-worker-of-Slade immediately. Then Terra ran over to Beast Boy and started sobbing.

"OH BEAST BOY IM SO SORRY! I ONLY PRETENDED NOT TO KNOW YOU FOR NO REASON BUT NOW I REALIZE I WANT TO BE BACK AND STUFF" Terra whaled.

"It's ok Terra. I forgive you cus i like blondes" Beast Boy said.

So then Terra started making out with Beastboy to finally show how in love she was with him and Raven ran to her room to go be emo in there. But no one noticed because everyone was happy and partying because Terra was back.

"WAAAAAAAAAAH" Raven cried in a monotone in her bathroom. She was cutting her arms and legs with her special emo-knife being emotional, but not blowing anything up due to plot holes. Raven hated Terra. It was all her fault. Not Beast Boy's, because HE forgot about her. It was all that blond-b****'s fault. **(A/N: OMG I HATE TERRA, SHE NEEDS TO DIE, BUT IM STILL GONNA WRITE ABOUT HER TO FEEL SORRY FOR RAVEN)**. So Raven sat there in a bloody pool of blood. Crying. Because Raven secretly cries alone in her room like an emotional tweenage girl. Apparently. Then she went into her room to go look at photos of beast boy and have flashbacks of them together.

Then Cyborg came. He's kinda like Raven's older brother. Apparently.

"**MA LI'L SISTA**!" shed Cyborg. "Why ain't shoo down dare havin' fun and shtuff?"

"It's because of Terra," Raven sniffed, totally not OOC. Then Raven spilt her heart out to him and started crying again. Not OOC-like.

"Oh no he didn't" Cyborg said, also not OOC.

"It's not Beast Boy's fault, it's Terra's!" Said Raven.

(BACK IN THE LIVING ROOM)

Everyone was dancing and partying because Terra was back. Beast Boy starred at the love of his life that-was-Terra-and-not-Raven passionately. Terra smirked to herself evilly because she was making Raven's life miserable and apparently had nothing better to do with her own.

Cyborg (there because of plot holes) was yelling at Beast Boy.

"DON SHOO GO PLAYING WITH THAT HEART" Cyborg yelled at him, then proceeded to beat him up.

Then Raven came down.

"GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND YOU BYOTCH!" RAVEN SHOUTED!

"DONT CALL ME A BYOTCH YOU BYOTCH! HE LOVES ME!" Terra shouted back.

"Yay, catfight!" Said the bitchy-Robin. Then everyone stopped what they were doing to watch the fight between Raven and Terra.

"Awesome! Chicks fighting over me!" beastBoy sayeded. Like the awesome boyfriend he was.

"HURAAAUUUGH" the girls shouted then went at each other. The fight continued. I'm too lazy to describe it, but Raven killed Terra and won, and Terra was stupid.

"Raven, Im soo sorry that I didn't realize i loved you earlier," say Best Buy.

"KK, LETS GO MAKE OUT!" Raven said.

So then Beast and Raven went to go make out, and so did Robin and Starfire. Cyborg's not important enough to be paired with anyone. And they all left Terra's bloody-dead body to rot on their floor.

**DA END...AGAIN**

_And no, I will not pay for you to have your jaws surgically fixed._


	3. Meet the OOC Robin

Robin is the leader of the Teen Titans: a teenage, superhero crime-fighting team who protect the streets of Jump City (which name has never been given in the show). Everyone knows his traumatizing, life-ruling past: he was once part of some clown act in a circus with his gypsy parents before dropping them off a hundred-foot diving board...something like that. Alone and abandoned, a rich man by the name of Oliver Warbucks adopted him, or as he is more commonly known as: Batman. Trained in the forms of martial arts and business, Robin had become Robin: sidekick of Batman. But soon Robin went through puberty and was feeling rebellious and got tired of being Daddy Warbuck's sidekick. So he ran away to form his own group of minions and thus: the Teen Titans were born! They had a successful run for three years till some moron cancelled it. Anyhoo, the heartbroken fans who mourned the cancellation of the show turned to a website called "FanFiction", so

Robin's been a little bitchy lately.

* * *

Everyone was in that big room again. You know, the only one in the tower besides for the bedrooms? Beast Boy and Cyborg were arguing about eating either tofu or animal carcasses...again. Because that's all they do. Obviously. Raven was reading or something, and Starfire was off doing whatever stupid aliens usually do. I wouldn't know cus I'm not a stupid alien. Anyways - it was all peachy and lovely, except - *LE GASP* - Robin was missing from this beautiful scene! But then the doors opened and the Boy Wonder entered the room.  
"COFFFEEEEE!" Robin shouted. He's also (apparently) obsessed with coffee. Apparently.  
"Uh, Robin? You okay dude?" Beast Boy asked - I mean assed.  
"OMJAY, JUS LYK LEMMEE ALONE! GOD! WHY CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME! JUST GO AWAY! WAAAAAHHHH!" and Robin stormed out of the room (with his coffee of course).  
"Uh, what just happened," asked Cyborg.  
"Eh, it's probably just time of the month," Raven said from behind a book.  
"Ah."

_**(IN ROBIN'S ROOM)** -I use these to tell you where the story is taking place, because you couldn't figure it out since my writing sucks._

Robin was whinning in his Slade themed bedroom. Obsessing over Slade. Obsessively. Like he usually does. Of course.  
"UG, WHY CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME! I JUST HAFTA FIND SLADE, I HAFTA HAFTA HAFTA!one!" Robin angsted in his normal valley-girl accent. Like many FF writers seem to believe, Robin's also the most angsty and darkest Titan - after Raven. Apparently.  
"WHERE ARE YOU SLADE! AHHHHHHHHH!eleven!" He then plopped on his Slade-themed-bed (complete with bed sheets, covers, and plush toys).  
"I'M GONNA FIND YOU," he shouted to his orange and black walls. He then pulled out some paperwork to do. Because that's what Robin does when he's not acting pre-menstrual. He files papers. For fun. Apparently. Of course.  
Ahem... Moving on -  
So after a couple zillion stacks of paper, he got bored and decided to search for Slade on Google. Just as he was about to click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button though, a knocking was heard from the door.  
"Hey Robin, we're going out for pizza. You wanna-"  
"NOOOOOOOOO! GO AWAY, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY OBSESSING OVER A PEDO HERE? GET OUT!eleven!"  
"Uh, Rob-"  
"NOOOO, GET OUT! ONE ELEVEN YOU HEAR ME? ONE HUNDRED ELEVEN!one!"

"ELEVEN!" Robin finished. Whoever was at the door began to wail as they ran away.  
"OH MOI GAWD! NOBODY LIKES MEH! WHY CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT I JUST HAFTA FIND SLADE!"  
Robin continued to complain for a bit longer before going off to stare at his photos of Slade. Then another knock came. It was Beast Boy.  
"DUUUUUUDE!" he shouted with way too many 'u's, " ROBIN! I JUST GOT A COPY OF MEGA MONKEYS 478! YOU WANNA-"  
"NOOOOOOOOO! GO THE :#&3? AWAY! CANT YOU SEE NO ONE LYKS MEH? Y DOESN'T ANYONE LYK MEH?! $& *$6 *#* &#&/#*#*/..."

Beast Boy scurried away and left the bitchy-Robin to continue swearing and yelling at his door. He ran to the common room/living room/operations center where the rest of the Titans were. Cyborg was sitting on the couch sobbing in Starfire's arm, still a bit emotional from Robin's outburst from before.  
"Dudes! Robin's gone wack!" Beast Boy told them.  
"Uuh, and you're just figuring this out now?" Raven said over the noise of Robin's fit coming from above.  
"Friends, I can no longer tolerate these tantrums from Robin! We have gone through them every month and in the times between, but I can no longer excuse his behavior just because he is menstruating!" Starfire shouted, "Do you realize what I must go through every time we are on a date?"  
"Star's got a point," Beast Boy commented.  
"Yeah, well what do you want us to do about it?" Raven replied.  
All of a sudden the alarms started to blare.  
"SLADE!" Robin burst through the door wearing his Slade themed bedsheet. He flew (yes, flew) over to the computer-window to see where Slade was. Because he couldn't do that before. Apparently.  
"TITANS GOOO!"and Robin flew out the window.

_**(IN SOME WAREHOUSE/UNDER GROUND CIRCUS)**_

The Titans (under the dictatorship of their wacked out leader) arrived at the warehouse...on the outskirts of town. I don't know why Slade was there. I guess he just has a fetish for cliches or something. Maybe he just likes the feel of moldy, abondoned, termite infested warehouses. Whatever. MOVING ON-  
As the Titans went in the warehouse, they were suddenly surrounded by Slade-bots. Slade apparently has a lot of time on his hands and just makes gajillions of robot versions of himself. For fun. Of course.  
"Hello puny...children..." Slade said in a bad attempt to insult them. It proved effective as Robin got angry.  
"SHLADE! YOU'RE GOING DOWN...AGAIN!" was his response. He then lunged (flew) at Slade to go hit him or something. His teammates were left to drown in the gajillions of Slade-bots. They fought. It was stupid. Robin lost.  
"We should do this again sometime...child. Ta-ta!"  
And with that, Slade floated away on an umbrella to go search for another warehouse. Robin was throwing a fit on the floor, and the Titans were left to endure their master's moodswings, tantrums, and fits FOREVAR!

And no, they DID NOT live happily ever after.

_**A/N:)**__ Yes, fangirls are insane, aren't they?_


	4. Meet the OOC Starfire

_A/N) Hello my limited readers. Sorry for the long wait, because I know you were just DYING for more and __(insert info on the author's life that no one really cares about__) and...oh whatever._

Meet the OOC Starfire

Starfire of Timeran was a very stupid girl. She ate things that weren't food, and talked so formally she sounded stupid. She took everything literally and would constantly everyone 'FRIEND'. Sometimes she would cook food out of chemical cleaners and would try force-feeding her creations to her FRIENDS.

Yes, she was indeed, very stupid.

One day, Starfire was out "doing the shopping" at the "mall of shopping" - or whatever it is she calls it. You'd think that after ten years of living on earth she'd figure out the problem with her speech - but nope! She was much too stupid and naive for that. Anyways, she was busy scaring the poor civilians as she went around hugging them, occasionally licking a person or two. Because she's just like that, you know?

"GREETINGS FELLOW CITIZEN!" she would say to many of the store clerks. Security would throw her out soon after because she would try "bonding" with the cashiers and start trying on clothes in the middle of the stores. After a while she got bored and went home - which meant she received another restraining order from the mall (which she gratefully ate).

"HELLO FRIENDS!" she shouted in her annoying, high-pitched voice. Beast Boy and Cyborg jumped from the couch where they were playing video games (again).

"GAH! I'M DEAF!" Beast Boy wailed.

"MANY APOLOGIES FRIEND!" she said, still shouting, "I WILL NOW GO AND MAKE YOU THE TRAMERIANEAN CASSEROLE OF APOLOGETIC-NESS! PLEASE - WHERE IS THE ARSENIC?"

So after nearly committing second-degree murder on the two Titans with her unholy-concoction, she went off to go play with her mutant pet, Silkie. Apparently she treats the maggot like most crazy-cat women do...with dogs...or something. The point is she's weird, okay?

**-MOVING ON-**

"FRIENDS, have any of you seen BOYFRIEND Robin in the of recent?" Starfire asked how she NORMALLY DOES. Cyborg and Beast Boy were sitting there, recovering from her cooking...by playing video games.

"He and Raven are out on a date or something," Beast Boy responded while staring at the TV.

"WHAAA?" Starfire exclaimed.

"Uh, yeah. They've been going out for like the past two months...or years," Cyborg added.

Starfire started sobbing and stuff while she ran to her room where she plopped herself on her OHSO FLUFFY PINK bed.

"NUUUUUUUU!111!" Starfire sobbed. "How could this happen! Robin and I are meant for each other! It's that stupid goth Raven! She's the problem! She must be destroyed! I will kill her, and then, Robin will be all MINNNNNNEEE!1111!"

Raven sat in the living room. Reading. Cus she does that you know? Anyway, she was reading alone in the room. Starfire came in and started staring creepily at Raven. There was a savage look in her eyes, like a crazy murderous stalker's who wanted to rip someone's head off, dance around their dead body, and possibly eat their heart. Because Starfire was exactly that. Of course.

Raven heard Starfire's maniacal breathing coming from behind her and turned around.

"Hey Star, what are you AHHH-" Too late! Starfire killed her.

"BUWUHAHAHAHAHA, NOW NOTHING WILL STAND IN THE WAY OF ME AND ROBIN, HAHAHAHA!" Starfire bwuahahaed in her shill voice.

"DUDE!"

Starfire turned around and saw Beast Boy, who had witnessed the murder and had his jaw sagging to the floor.

"YOU JUST - I MEAN - YOU - AND - BLOOD - SPLUTTER -" Beast Boy spluttered.

"YOU'RE A WITNESS - YOU MUST DIE TOO!" Starfire shrieked. Beast Boy died.

"YO, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Cyborg shouted. He was killed too. Silkie was brutally murdered as well because he was also a witness. Suddenly Robin came in whistling.

"Hey Star wha- OH MY GOD!" Robin screamed. "What's this book doing on the floor? Doesn't anyone have any respect for literature? Shame on you Raven!" he said to Raven's mangled, bloody corpse.

"So anyway - wait a second...***GASP*** RAVEN, YOU'RE DEAD! AND SO ARE THE OTHER TWO CHARACTERS! STARFIRE, WHAT DID YOU DO?!questionmark!?" he asked Starfire, who was grinning at him like a manaic the whole time.

"THEY WERE IN THE WAY **BOYFRIEND ROBIN**! IN THE WAY OF _**US**_! NOW THERE'S NOTHING TO STOP US FROM BEING TOGETHER - **FOREVER** HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" she cackled.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH-" Robin shouted as Starfire lunged for him.

And they all lived happily ever after. But not really.

_A/N) For ome reason it ticks me off when I see people spell her planet wrong - like "Teermeranianeenan". You fail at sounding out words. Also, I really hate people make her say 'FRIEND' before everyone's name. She doesn't. Really. Okay I think you go the point._


End file.
